To the comment from my last blog, thank you. I really appreciate your words. Although only for a fleeting moment, they helped. Thank you...very much.

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I really hate myself and everything around me...

What's the point of continuing?

Once again, my life is going nowhere...although, that's my fault.

My little sister is miserable...and that's my fault, too.

I bring nothing but disappointment to my family...I know that's my fault as well.

If there is nothing good...what's the point of continuing?

What if there really isn't any future meant for me?

They say that people who commit the crime of killing one's self is not part of God's plan...

What if he really did plan for that person to commit suicide, though?

Has anyone ever thought that maybe a person commits suicide because it's what God wanted.

Everyone says that God is a good entity...one who forgives and protects us all.

What if he was just another jerk like the rest of us?

How are we to know that he isn't just like us?

Anyways, that's beside the point.

Once again, I feel as if there's no point in continuing on anymore.

I hate the moment when you feel your lowest...and you remember every other terrible thing that has happened to you. It makes you feel even lower than dirt. I really hate that feeling...but I always get it. I guess it's because I really am a terrible person. I don't deserve to live...I think I've lost the privilege of doing so. There's no point...

I really wish...that I could die...

If there really is a God, I hope that he will exchange my life for someone else who is going to die soon.

Maybe that person will be able to do better things for the world than me.

After all, I am a nobody...nobody...a BIG nobody!!!

I'll die...and no one will care. I'll exchange my life for someone else who deserves to live longer.

If all else...I hope that I can at least do that for someone else.

I've lost all my motivation to go to school. I've started skipping again...T__T I'm really starting to think that there's no point in going to school anymore. I always feel all motivated at the beginning but I end up losing it all in the end. I'm wasting soOo much money that I don't think it's worth it anymore. I should just stop trying and do something else.

I despise working at the restaurant so much and yet it might be the only thing available for me. I don't want to go to school anymore...yet that's the only option besides the restaurant. I feel like I've fallen into such a deep pit that it hurts to think about where I'm at. People around me are all ready to go and pursue what they want...yet here I am, still stuck at square one but just poorer than when I first started. I feel so useless and dumb and stupid because I'm still nowhere...and it's obvious I'm getting nowhere.

Maybe I should just and get married. LOL! Yeah, that's what I'll do...if it was possible. No one would marry someone lazy and stupid and ugly like me. T__T Maybe if I lost weight...I would be better looking so I can find someone to marry. Gosh, I sound like a desperate and stupid woman. Where am I going to be in the near future? Nowhere...nowhere, nowhere, nowhere, nowhere, NOWHERE!!

I'm going to be nowhere and it's going to be all my fault. I'm the one to blame because I'm too stupid and idiotic to decide what I want to do with my life. T__T I feel so lost and helpless...and I feel as though there's no one who can help me find my way. I'm having so much trouble with what I want to do that it's ridiculous. I need a more realistic dream...one that's more reasonable. But I can't help but keep thinking about my dream. Maybe it's not meant to be...and maybe I really am just meant to be stuck working at my parents' restaurant for the rest of my life.

Damn...

My life sucks...

On Valentine's Day, I wanted to buy a chocolate cake to eat but I didn't get the chance. I was able to do it today! I'm happy...because I've been crazing chocolate. Hehe, my Valentine's Day wish has been fulfilled. =D

I went looking through some blogs about make up tips and all that fun stuff. Now, I'm inspired to take better care of myself and my face. ^__^ I want to put on make up now and experiment with styles. Haha, I guess this is just a passing phase, though. XD

I also went looking through blogs that gave self-cam tips and now I want to camwhore. Haha, I want to do a lot of things. I've never realized how easy it was for me to be inspired by such simple things. Haha, ah well. I suppose that's just me. ^__~

ANYWAYS...I should be doing my homework again. XD